Case Studies (Kali Shivakote)

I studied until class 9 and thereafter I discontinued my studies. My husband was a truck driver in Nepal. As a truck driver my husband used to go on long journeys to drive the truck to different parts of the country. Over a period of time he became alcoholic. I am the second wife of my husband. His first wife has left him and her whereabouts are not known. My husband has two sons from the first wife. I had one son and two daughters who are studying and staying in my mother’s house.

I stay with my Nanad (husband’s sister) in Simra , a small town on the border of India. My husband got sick and the sickness prolonged for nearly two years. He could not be healed in -spite of continuous treatment. His health became a cause of concern to me as he became very thin. At one stage due to sickness he could not recognize family members and his legs got paralyzed. He could not go to toilet and I looked after him.  The fact was that my husband knew the reason of his sickness which he did not disclose to me. Ultimately, I took my husband to Kalimati hospital. After knowing the profession and history of prolonged sickness of my husband the doctors suspected the killer disease HIV/AIDS. I never knew anything about this disease and enquired about this disease from the doctor. I asked the doctor to get my husband tested for HIV but my husband was not interested to undergo this test. On my insisting, the blood was drawn and test was done. The cost of the test was Rs.600/- and I had only Rs.500/- with me. They agreed to do the test for the amount I could afford to give.

I was asked by the doctor to come on a specific date to take the report of the test. They were not ready to directly tell me the results. I insisted and asked if it was HIV/AIDS which they confirmed. After hearing this I was shocked, I trembled and fell down unconscious. After some time I regained consciousness and the doctor and nurses helped me to face the reality. I felt like committing suicide. Totally shaken and bewildered, I came back home. My husband who was skin and bones, and seriously ill, asked me about the report of the test. I refused to disclose the report and told my husband that the doctor has asked you to come again on some other day.

My relatives were taunting me. I decided to take my husband to the village. By then I did not get my blood tested. I was advised to get my blood tested and to my surprise I was also infected by the disease. I thought I will go mad; I lost the desire to live. Some people took me to a place where there were women living with HIV/AIDS. That exposure made me realize that I am not the only one hit by the trauma of disease, but there are others who are living in similar circumstances. I realized I am not alone and that gave me hope to live. I was brought back to the main stream of life again. To earn my livelihood I started stitching clothes and got work in a temple. I am getting ARV drugs free of cost which is a great help.

In all these struggles of life I am not able to forget one person Rita Khadka whom I call “Didi” elder sister. In the past I worked in her tailoring shop. She has stood by me in all these struggles and supported me with money and encouragement. Her frequent phone calls give me encouragement and hope.

In the past I had no desire to live but now others including ETSCN has given me courage to live. Their staff periodically meets me and counsels me. To maintain good health I am given monthly nutrition supplement. For enhancing my income ETSCN gave me sewing machine which is a good tool for me to earn. I have also attended their training on entrepreneurship development. To participate in the work of ETSCN I work as a volunteer which satisfies me.